freedom, or the annoying wasp that wont LEAVE!!!!

She sat there, so still, I questioned if she was dead. She was completely immobile, staring at the vast world on the other side of the window, where freedom awaited her. I very slowly opened the window, so as to not startle her. Fly out little wasp. Immobile, still. Finally, she started moving. A slight inch towards the part of the window that was completely open. And then she stopped. Hours later, she is still on the window, making no movements towards liberty. don’t you know you are SO CLOSE!?! dumb thing!!! a beautiful, unknown world is waiting for you. I opened the window, all you have to do is fly out. Just do it. It is so much better out there. You and I both know that.

I wanted to laugh and cry because at that moment, I knew I was that wasp.  I know how that wasp feels. Uncertain, immobile, not completely sure if she can leave the comfort of an entrapping window.  She knows she can. But she doesn’t know know, you know? By grace, I am ready to fly out. I cannot keep staring at the window, entangled by comfort, among other things. I feel as though I am now willing and desperate enough to discover the other side. The free side. The side that involves risk, expectation and faith. Here's to mustard-seed faith and grace that will envelop me on the other side. Cheers!

keepin it real. and preachy.

This morning I woke up, not in the best of moods. Nor in the worst. Considering a couple events that have happened as of late, I think I'm doing pretty good. I woke up and just let my thoughts run "free." (mistake #1). After a completely unproductive time of...laying, I thought it would be a good idea to get on  facebook. (mistake #2). Its never good in the mornings, when will I learn? While some people may find it therapeutic (I have yet to meet a person in which this is the case) I find that being bombarded by people's status updates, opinions, and pictures is a little too much to include in my morning routines. Yet I do it anyway-sometimes. Anyway, today I did. There are few things that get me angry to the point of tears. There are a lot of things that I feel very strongly about, but very few that transport me from anger to heartbreak and back again. Pornography and people who are oppressed and marginalized are among those things. Especially when it comes to people's opinions about illegal immigration. I am not, thank the Lord, a politician. So in the world of politics and what would be "best for this country" I side with my friend Derek Webb- "We will never have a savior on capitol hill." I also side with him on this simple truth: my allegiance will always be to a King and a Kingdom.
And if I know one thing, I know that God is a God of love and of justice. I know a God that wants to take care of the marginalized, the widow, the orphan, the alien. And I don't think He takes our opinion into consideration on this one. Ok, well at least I don't. I don't really care too much that some people think its unfair that illegal immigrants come here and don't have to pay taxes and we do. You know why I don't care? Because that is the most selfish thing I have ever heard of. Let go of money. Be thankful that we get paid a salary, that we can drive a car, own a house, splurge on the little things. Be thankful that every time we get in your car to go for a grocery run, we are not afraid of getting pulled over, being deported, and never seeing our husband/wife and kids again.
I get it, its illegal. What concern is that of ours? We don't know their motives, desires, plans and dreams. We don't understand why they are here, why they had to leave their country or why they wanted to leave their country (it makes no difference) or do what they had to do to be able to enjoy some of what we are enjoying. Our only job is to love and love well. God will take care of everything else, no matter whose "side" you are on. If you think its still wrong for illegal immigrants to come to this country, God will set you straight (I kid, i kid...kinda). And if your heart burns with a desire to see all people embraced and accepted- God will also take care of it. And when I say that we need to trust that God will take care of these things, I'm preaching to myself.

sometimes there are no words of mine, but here is a beautiful song.

I was wrong, everybody needs someone, to hold on
Take my hand, I’ve been a lonesome man, took a while to understand

There's some things we can’t live without,
A man’s so prone to doubt,
Faithful are the wounds from friends.
So give it just a little time,
Share some bread and wine
Weave your heart into mine,
My friend

Walls fall down, where there’s a peaceful sound, lonely souls hang around
Don’t be shy, there’s nothing left to hide, come on let’s talk a while

Of the places we left behind,
No longer yours and mine
But we could build a good thing here too
So give it just a little time,
Share bread and wine
Weave your heart into mine

If I fall, I fall alone, but two can help to bear the load
A threefold chord is hard to break
All I have I give to you if you will share your sorrows too,
Then joy will be the crown upon our heads
My friend.
-Josh Garrels, Love & War & The Sea In Between

i love my husband.

 

 

 

 

 

 

  

 

 

I always look like this when coming out of our apartment. Carrying a million things, (making a really weird/strange face) running out the door, and more than likely, making him late. He is so patient with me. Most of the time he just stares at me, as I run around looking for random things. Things I probably will not use or need during the day. He even remembers that I don't like it when he follows me around, trying to get me to hurry. Well, he sometimes remembers. But seriously, I am married to one of the most patient men I have ever met.

We both love food. all the time. ice cream. loaded tacos. pizza. greek salad. pasta. peaches. spinach. blueberry pancakes. I love him because he knows the little things that I love-like amazing food. and he shares that with me. I remember when our AC wasn't working, and it hadn't been for days. It was ten times hotter in our apartment than it was outside. I had not stopped sweating, and I was feeling like the most unattractive, disgusting human being on the planet. We were both sitting on the couch, soaked in our own sweat, and talking about how hungry we were. You should know our kitchen gets extremely hot when we cook anything. We tossed around dinner ideas, and finally decided we needed to get the heck out of the apartment. He was SO up for going down the street to our favorite burger joint. He spoiled me with fries, a huge burger running over with chili and slaw and ranch, to make it true perfection. We soaked in all the AC that the place had, and I walked out feeling really loved. Maybe not slimmer or healthier (disclaimer: we are not junk food junkies, only at times), but definitely loved. I could go on and on, but I won't. I am really blessed. Thank you Lord for redeeming every part of my life.