give me something to write about.

over the last couple of days, my fingers have been thinking about writing, but not quite making the decision, thanks to busyness and Lost. This morning, I prayed, and asked God to help me. I need help managing my time. When I was in YWAM, I think I forgot what the words "free time" meant. If I was not in a lecture hall, I was cleaning, if I was not cleaning, I was out selling cakes for our missions trips. If I was not out selling cakes for a missions trip, I was on a mission trip, teaching English and running summer camps for kids. I will write more about my YWAM experience later, because I have been meaning to for quite a while now. Fast forward, and I am in Charlotte, NC, with free time that gets filled in a matter of seconds. I have free time. I fill it. Today I remembered a verse that I used to say to myself a lot.

"Teach me to number my days, so that I may present to you a heart of wisdom."


Apparently, Moses wrote this. Or so I learned in the School of the Bible. And here I am, who knows how many years later, praying the same thing. And I am not leading a bunch of ungrateful, forgetful Israelites through the desert. I am the ungrateful, forgetful Israelite. and then there is God. This great beautiful God who is leading me through my own modern day desert. Who leads me through deserts into great waters that fulfill and nourish, and yet I seem to forget. I seem to forget the days where He fulfilled his promises to me. I seem to forget His hand of protection over my life. I seem to forget that His very Spirit is sustaining me. This forgetfulness causes my days to blur past me. It causes boredom, discontentment and apathy. It causes my days to be nothing more than a list of things to do.
But I want to number my days.
I want to number the times in a day where Jesus speaks. I want to number the times that I see the miracle of life. Of a life being wooed, being transformed, being pursued. I want to number the days of the Lord's faithfulness towards me, towards my family and friends. I have seen so many people come out of a place of despair and desolation into a place of great hope. I have seen time and time again the miracle of a forgiving life, of a redeemed life, of a serving life. I have seen all of this, and so much more. I have seen the days of persistence that it has taken for one soul to believe that there are people in this world that truly love them, no strings attached. And all of these great miracles have taken place in a series of seemingly mundane days, with nothing overtly extraordinary happening, except of course, for that ball of fire called the sun, warming the whole earth, beaming outside the window, and the sky painted in a mixture of colors that no human hand could ever replicate, and oxygen that moves in and out of billions of frail bodies that manage to breathe and hope despite all the suffering and because of all the beauty. No, nothing extraordinary at all.
"Teach me to number my days, so that I may present to you a heart of wisdom."